Got 'Maters? You Betcha!

What To Do When It's Time

Shortly after I had "the conversation" with my mother--you know, the one where we talked about her moving into senior living--I found her polishing her jewelry.

When I commented on it, she answered, "I want to look all spiffy when I meet some old geezers at that senior place!"

Every time I think about that moment, I smile and remember my dear mother with her quirky sense of humor.

I know I was fortunate that my mother, who had lived with me and my husband for five years, was willing to move into senior living without a tussle when my husband and I decided to downsize and move from Tennessee to Chicago, where our kids are.

But for those of you who are having a bit more difficulty, here are a few tips:

First, be aware of the emotions your parent(s) may be experiencing, and encourage conversation about them: 

• feelings of abandonment; 
• feelings of overwhelm about the physical aspects of moving; 
• fears about loss of independence; 
• concerns about adjusting to a new routine, and making new friends, are just a few of the issues that might come up.

Or, like my  78-year-old friend, Lauren, who refers to her senior living home as a "5-star hotel"  your parent(s) may be thrilled to not have to cook, clean, and drive anymore! And since Lauren is very social, she loves having people to visit with all day long! 

So encourage a positive perspective about a new chapter of life emerging, rather than the old life ending.

Visit several communities that seem appropriate for your parent(s), then pick the top one or two and visit multiple times. 

Be sure to sample the meals, ask if you and your parents(s) could participate in an activity like bingo or a craft session, and 

And don't be a "Helicopter Adult Child"! Sure, help them get moved in, then visit or call  the first few days but let your parents(s) be independent and learn to navigate their new life on their own.

Some communities have "ambassadors"--experienced residents who are assigned to your parent(s) for the first few days to help them find their way around, get to meals and activities on time, and introduce them to other residents.

Ask if the community you're considering has that service--it's invaluable, especially if you, the caregiver, live out of town. 

If not, ask if a staff member checks on new residents the first few days. 

When I placed my mother in respite care during the moving process, a staff member checked on her and let me know she didn't make it to dinner the first night (too tired from the plane ride, it turns out, so they brought her granola bars and fruit and she was fine).

Lastly, make sure your parent(s) new home has all the comforts of their former home. My grandparents lived in a very small house but when they moved into a tiny, tiny senior apartment my grandmother was so proud of it, you would have thought it was a palace!

All she needed was a few kitchen items, some basic furniture--and her rocking chair, side table, and Bible, and she felt at home. Because she was so comfortable, it seemed like home to me, too, when I visited her every Sunday.

All in all, transitioning your parent(s) to senior living can best be accomplished when you stay relaxed and positive, honor your parent(s) feelings, and help them feel comfortable in their new surroundings--without "hovering".

Here's to happy homes for us all!

Karen Hunter is a Realtor with KW Innovate and Senior Transition Specialist in the Chicago area with experience in working with clients with dementia. Her company, Senior Home Transformations, makes moving easy and stress-free. For a list of services, visit https://senior-home-transformations.webnode.com.

A Good Summer Read

It's a quiet, lazy Friday afternoon and I am getting ready to take time out to relax and enjoy a perennial favorite summer novel, Carney's House Party by Maude Hart Lovelace.

Did you, and do you, love the Betsy-Tacy books as much as I?

If you're a fan, you know that Carney is Betsy's chum from Deep Valley, and that during the summer between her sophomore and junior years at Vassar she hosted a house party. Her guests were her Eastern college roommate, Isobel; her old high school friend, Bonnie, who moved to Paris during freshman year, and of course, the irrepressible Betsy.

The primary conflicts centers around the return to Deep Valley of Carney's high school beau, Larry (he and his family had moved to California a few years earlier), and her growing feelings for Deep Valley newcomer Sam Hutchison.

So with that being said, I won't give anything more away...I'll just quietly slip away to Deep Valley, MN, circa 1911--my ultimate getaway. Best of all, it's free! No airports, no hotel meals, no schlepping luggage!

Our First Auction

Steve and I went to our first real estate auction yesterday, in Joelton.

It was to settle the estate of Zachary Taylor. The auction consisted of his personal possession, home, two tracts of land, and farm equipment.

The personal property auction began at 10. There were tons of people there, and everyone congregated under the huge shade trees in the front yard.

Prior to the start, I was taking a look at all the stuff. A woman approached me, said she was from Michigan, and wondered how the auctions worked. I had to say, I didn't know, since I'd never been to one.

One of the auction team overheard her and explained, telling here he'd have to charge her double since she was from The North!. Later, during the auction, he mentioned that there was a woman there from Michigan who hadn't bought a thing! She was very good-natured about the teasing.

Anyway...I had read in the paper that there would be hand-stitched quilts so I took a photo of them...the biggest find in my book was a "head vase". I sold one on Ebay a couple of years ago for $164! However, we didn't come prepared to buy anything, we were just seeking the experience.

The personal possessions auction was interesting and entertaining. They sold off the bigger ticket items and then began lumping stuff together in boxes. You could take your chances. That explains why sometimes in antique booths there is a bunch of junk...it must be the leftovers from these grab boxes.

The property auction started at 11. The home was pretty outdated but it and 71 acres sold for $325k due to proximity to Interstate 24. The remaining 52 acres was up to $305k when we left.

We were tired of standing, even though it was pleasant under the shade trees. Steve's feet hurt and my back hurt.

Next time we'll be prepared: cash (for concession items as well as stuff), lawn chairs (most people had them), and water.

After we left there we headed over to Pleasant View for lunch and then a stop at our favorite antique store, The Livery Stable, on Highway 49. They had some great stuff!

I'm attaching a picture or two from the auction, and the rest are from the Livery Stable.

We came home and watched tv, worked in the garden, had a relaxing dinner, and watched more tv.

It was a wonderful day!

Rite-Aide Kitty

Oh, my goodness...I met the most adorable kitty today at Rite-Aide! He has an amazing story and an unusual life...

Unfortunately, I did not have my camera to take a pic of him.

Steve and I stopped at the Rite-Aide in Old Hickory on our way home from the Eckhart Tolle book discussion at Unity. They had 12 rolls of Scott TP for $6.99...and I had a $1 coupon!

Anyway, as we prepared to enter the store, we saw a fluffy brown mackeral tabby near the front door. He was sound asleep so I did not disturb him.

I forgot the coupon so when I went back out to the car, some young women were petting and playing with him.

So when we came out with our purchase, he was still awake so I went over to pet him. He immediately rolled over to let me rub his tummy...a sign of trust!

The Rite-Aide manager came out to share his story...they found him 20 months ago and started feeding and caring for him. One day last summer...one of those wretched days when the temp was 110, a woman came driving up and recognized him as her kitty!

She went home and got her husband and a cat carrier, but the cat fought like a tiger. Seems that at his previous home, he was kept in a basement with another cat.

He fought for his freedom...and won. The woman decided that if he was that happy at Rite-Aide, he could stay.

The Rite-Aide folks bought him a house...to the tune of $120...and put a bed in it...and put a mini Rite-Aide sign over the door.

He was so happy and laid back that he had tons of drool all over his bib!

Next week I'll be sure to bring my camera! This is a great cat story...they are such wonderful teachers.

Parade of Homes

Goodness! I never posted the photos from the Stream Valley Parade of Homes in Franklin last fall...so I will start putting up a few at a time.

Rather than taking "house" photos, I concentrated on the things I love, fabric, wallcoverings, accessories...enjoy!

Time To Renew

Greetings to All~

I certainly never intended to let six months elapse before posting but throughout late fall and winter, I put a lot of attention on business.

Now I'm more in fun mode! I'm able to relax a bit from the frantic pace of the past year, and fully enjoy the "things of the home" that call so deeply to my heart.

At present, I'm preparing to head over to Lowe's to purchase some herbs and tomato plants so I'll keep this short.

Here's a picture of our new cat, Bitsy, who arrived Easter weekend. Steve's outdoor cat, Bubba, who was feral when we found him, brought her home to meet the parents. She is absolutely adorable and brightens our hearts after the death of Rosie at age 19 in February.

In fact, Bitsy is a lot like Rosie...not afraid of anything, and into everything!

We were expecting to see some kittens and since Bitsy is part Siamese and Bubba is an orange tabby, we planned to call them our orange mocha latte kittens! However...Bitsy has been here six weeks now and no sign of kittens!

Well, here she is...our new darling...